2021 - Đề thi IELTS Writing tháng 3 | Page 2 | Diễn đàn tiếng Anh bởi Anh Ngữ ZIM | Luyện thi IELTS, TOEIC

2021 - Đề thi IELTS Writing tháng 3

Dinh Cong Anh

New member
Topic: Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer:

People have differing views with regard to the question of who are more successful: billionaires or scientists and teachers? In my view, all those mentioned subjects are successful people in an equal measure.

First of all, there are two main reasons why we often consider those who earn a huge amount of money as successful people. The most visible would be that materialism, nowadays, changed our mind about the way we assess others. To be more precise, we tend to suppose that millionaires or billionaires may find it easy to gain respect from crowds because they have luxurious villas and fast cars. In addition, in some ways, rich men like Bill Gates or Elon Musk, are more likely to contribute to the development of human society far more than anyone else. Even though I do not deny that social media, under the influence of such men, has a certain impact on our standpoint, I still concur that those people, such as Bill Gates, have been providing financial assistance for various projects to help impoverished people across the world.

Apart from that, scientists and teachers are also successful people in our society. This is because countless scientific breakthroughs, which have been being carried out by researchers throughout the history of mankind, help us to deal with various setbacks like environmental problems or energy shortages. Without them, human beings could become extinct many times in the past and even at the moment or in the future. Furthermore, we all should know that it is more beneficial for anyone to go to school in order to broaden our horizons and learn right-mannered behaviors, which are vital factors to help us achieve great results later in life. Of course, teachers at school are a bridge which has an important role to play in the schooling of all people.

In conclusion, the discussed subjects, from my point of view, are equally successful people in our society because of their indispensable contributions to mankind.
 

Dinh Cong Anh

New member
Topic: The maps below show a beachfront area in Australia in 1950 and now
Answer:

The two maps give information about the development of an Australian beachfront area from 1950 to date.

It is noticeable that there are a number of modifications occurring on this beachfront. These involved the improvement of traffic infrastructure and the addition of several new facilities.

From the maps, we can see that in 1950, there was a small car park in the area, however, at the present, this car park becomes bigger. Also, another car park has been built at the place where the playground used to be. Furthermore, the traffic road was extended to connect the lighthouse.

Apart from those, a new restaurant and the first surf club were constructed to the southwest of the area, whereas the second surf club was built to the southeast side. We also see that there were two 25-meter swimming pools on this front beach, but the length of the southwest one was doubled at the moment.

Despite the above modifications, the dining tables, pavilion, lighthouse, southeast swimming pool, and the beach still remain unchanged in terms of size and position over the period shown.

Thanks, Zim for all.
 

Vu Trong Hieu

Moderator
Task 2: More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Personal information is considered one of the most confidential details of a person. Many people in this time and age tend to publicize their locations, contact numbers, daily activities, … on the internet, while others disagree with this action. From an individual perspective, I suppose that this tendency could have both positive and negative consequences in some aspects, despite that, I firmly believe that the downsides are more likely to overshadow the opposite sides.

First and foremost, I would like to discuss several strong points that the mentioned phenomenon would bring to us in certain extents (situations). The most common idea for people to post their personal information for daily activities on social media networks, such as Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, … could be to save or share beautiful pictures, memories, sceneries, … with their friends and family or simply want to review or introduce an interesting place, good food or new experience, … with their peers. Furthermore, an impressive convenience of the trend is for that those who are busy or enjoy shopping with online platforms, like Walmart, Amazon, Best Buy, … could find easier and faster when using the shipping address, phone number, banking details, … which were saved on their account online; as a result, reserve their time for other important works.

On the other hand, the downsides of this tendency should not be overlooked for a number of reasons. At first glance, the most dangerous problem is that your personal information might be stolen by hackers or IT criminals in order for them to proceed with illegal actions; as a matter of fact, you might face legal risks by accident. In addition, you could become an object of fraud, scams via phone calls, emails, mailbox, …. Last but not least (Bạn nên tránh dùng những câu mang tính cố hữu như thế này bạn nhé), once your personal and banking details were controlled by lawbreakers, you might lose your money and your financial status would be potentially in danger (ý này của bạn mình thấy có hơi trùng với ý đầu của đoạn văn này bạn nhé!).

In conclusion, even though publishing personal information online for everyday activities on social networks or for banking purposes has definite positive impacts on us in certain extents, yet those upsides are still minor in comparison with the serious limitations indicated above. My firm conviction is that the disadvantages of the aforementioned phenomenon clearly outweigh the bright sides (quan điểm của bạn ở đây là như vậy, nhưng mình thấy độ chi tiết và độ dài của đoạn nói về disadvantage còn ngắn hơn rất nhiều so với đoạn nói về advantages. Nếu làm như vậy thì quan điểm của bạn sẽ không thực sự thuyết phục bạn nhé.).
Phần bài của bạn Thu Ngo mình thấy có thể đạt được điểm 6.5 bạn nhé. Về mặt bằng chung thì mình thấy bạn đã có thể có khả năng sử dụng các cấu trúc ngữ pháp và từ vựng một cách phù hợp để diễn đạt ý tương đối dễ hiểu. Tuy nhiên thì trong phần bài của bạn có ý đang trùng với nhau, và luận điểm chính của bạn vẫn chưa thực sự thuyết phục bạn nhé.
Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

It is realized that working overtime has become increasingly popular in this time and age. In this writing, I would like to explain the roots of the mentioned phenomenon and some adverse impacts on people in certain extent.

First and foremost, there are several reasons for the stated trend to be common in our society these days. From an individual perspective, the most general idea for people to work longer hours is to attain more experience and to get better promotion opportunities in their career. For example, as a matter of fact, new graduate students usually have limited experience in life and profession, hence, they tend to work extra time to learn and obtain more skills from their senior colleagues. Besides, ambitious youngsters, who would like to progress in their career, ought to (ở đây mình thấy từ ought to mang tính chắc chắn quá bạn nhé, và bạn nên tránh thêm các từ như vậy trong bài IELTS bạn nhé, vì các từ này thường không khách quan ) demonstrate their potential and expertise by working even harder in order to gain achievements for their enterprise. Additionally, in the era of industrialization and globalization today, people require higher living standards and conditions, whilst the price for accommodations, transportations, materials, … is also increased significantly. As a result, people have to work longer hours to meet their needs and support their family.

On the other hand, the downsides of this tendency should not be overlooked for a number of reasons. At first glance, the most considered problem is their long-term health would be affected due to insufficient rest and regular stress associated with the accomplishment of targets or KPI. Last but not least, spending more time at work means less time allocated for your loved ones, at some points in time, you might unintentionally miss special moments and events of family or friends, for instance, taking children to school, playing with them, celebrating their birthdays, … which probably make you regret one day and wish to go back in time and correct it as time goes by (mình hiểu ý này, nhưng tuy nhiên thì mình nghĩ ý phù hợp hơn và quan trọng hơn có thể là việc bỏ lỡ các sự kiện này có thể làm ảnh hưởng sự gắn kết của gia đình chẳng hạn. Làm như vậy thì luận điểm này của bạn sẽ thuyết phục hơn bạn nhé).

In conclusion, even though working longer hours has several limitations in certain extent, yet, in my view, those weaknesses are still minor in comparison with the major benefits bringing to our lives, especially in terms of the development of a business and the economic growth of a country (phần cuối bài này mình thấy bạn hiện đang copy từ bài này sang bài khác. Bạn không nên làm như vậy bạn nhé, vì kết bài của bạn nên phản ánh ý kiến của chính mình trong những bài cụ thể, chứ không thể được áp dụng cho tất cả các bài được bạn nhé).
Phần bài này của bạn Thu Ngo mình thấy có thể tiếp tục đạt được band điểm 6.5 bạn nhé. Các phản hồi của mình từ bài trên vẫn tương tự bạn nhé.
Task 1: The chart below gives information about the amount of time children spend with their parents.

The graphs describe the number of hours spent by children with their parents on weekdays and weekends, the age is divided into 5 groups, separate from 0 to 9.

Overall, the amount of time children shared with their Mom is highest on weekdays, while the figures between Dad and Both Mom & Dad are relatively similar. Likewise, at weekends, the number of hours allocated by children with both Mom & Dad is the longest, and with Dad is the shortest.

Specifically, the time children participate with their Mom is from 5 to 6 hours on weekdays in all age groups. By contrast, the hours of the remaining categories are much lower during weekdays, in which, the age groups of 6-7, 8-9 at With Dad and the age of 4-5, 8-9 at Both Mom & Dad obtain (từ obtain ở đây dùng chưa chính xác bạn nhé) the same amount of time, of a maximum of 2 hours.

On the other side, at weekends, children spend approximately 5-6 hours with Both Mom & Dad in general, which increased significantly saw a more significant rise than that on weekdays. Meanwhile, the number of hours with their Dad becomes smallest, at under 2 hours in all ages. In addition, the figures children shared with their Mom (ý này của bạn còn có phần mờ mịt và chưa thực sự rõ ràng về mặt ý bạn nhé, vì trẻ em thường không chia sẻ các con số cho mẹ, mà trẻ em DÀNH thời gian cho mẹ của mình nhé) are 3-4 hours among every age, which decreased slightly compared with weekdays.
Phần bài trên của bạn Thu Ngo mình thấy có thể đạt được điểm 6.5 non bạn nhé. Về mặt bằng chung thì mình thấy bài viết của bạn đã có sự chọn lọc và sắp xếp tương đối phù hợp và logic. Tuy nhiên thì việc bạn miêu tả thông tin vẫn đôi khi còn khó hiểu và chưa đủ cụ thể do thiếu giới từ bạn nhé.
 

Vu Trong Hieu

Moderator
Topic: Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer:

People have differing views with regard to the question of who are more successful: billionaires or scientists and teachers? In my view, all those mentioned subjects are successful people in an equal measure.

First of all, there are two main reasons why we often consider those who earn a huge amount of money as successful people. The most visible would be that materialism, nowadays, changed our mind about the way we assess others. To be more precise, we tend to suppose that millionaires or billionaires may find it easy to gain respect (ý này mình không hiểu rõ là liên quan gì tới success bạn nhé, vì chỉ gain respect không thôi thì cũng chưa bao hàm đầy đủ ý nghĩa của successful) from crowds because they have luxurious villas and fast cars. In addition, in some ways, rich men like Bill Gates or Elon Musk, are more likely to contribute to the development of human society far more than anyone else (ý anyone else của bạn ở đây mình thấy đang hơi mang tính phóng đại quá bạn nhé, vì họ giàu nhưng không có nghĩa là họ có đủ tài để đóng góp cho sự phát triển của xã hội). Even though I do not deny that social media, under the influence of such men, has a certain impact on our standpoint, I still concur that those people, such as Bill Gates, have been providing financial assistance for various projects to help impoverished people across the world. (Câu này của bạn mình chưa hiểu lắm là liên quan gì tới câu trước đó, và liên quan gì tới ý success bạn nhé)

Apart from that, scientists and teachers are also successful people in our society. This is because countless scientific breakthroughs, which have been being carried out by researchers throughout the history of mankind, help us to deal with various setbacks like environmental problems or energy shortages. Without them, human beings could become extinct many times in the past and even at the moment or in the future. Furthermore, we all should know that it is more beneficial for anyone to go to school in order to broaden our horizons and learn right-mannered behaviors, which are vital factors to help us achieve great results later in life. Of course, teachers at school are a bridge which has an important role to play in the schooling of all people. (phần bài này của bạn mình thấy đã có sự miêu tả và giải thích phù hợp, nhưng tuy nhiên thì mình thấy các ý của bạn ở đây còn mang tính liệt kê quá, và chưa thực sự nhấn mạnh vào ý successful bạn nhé)

In conclusion, the discussed subjects, from my point of view, are equally successful people in our society because of their indispensable contributions to mankind.
Phần bài này của bạn Cong Anh mình thấy có thể đạt được band điểm 6.5 non bạn nhé. Về phần bài của bạn thì mình thấy bạn đã cho thấy mình vẫn có thể sử dụng từ vựng và ngữ pháp một cách hợp lý và chính xác để diễn đạt ý. Tuy nhiên thì các ý trong bài của bạn còn chưa thực sự logic và liên quan tới chủ đề. Bạn nên xem xét lại những ý trên để có thể cải thiện bài viết của mình bạn nhé!
Topic: The maps below show a beachfront area in Australia in 1950 and now
Answer:

The two maps give information about the development of an Australian beachfront area from 1950 to date.

It is noticeable that there are a number of modifications occurring on this beachfront. These involved the improvement of traffic infrastructure and the addition of several new facilities.

From the maps, we can see that in 1950, there was a small car park in the area, however, at the present, this car park becomes bigger. Also, another car park has been built at the place where the playground used to be. Furthermore, the traffic road was extended to connect to the lighthouse.

Apart from those, a new restaurant and the first surf club were constructed to the southwest of the area, whereas the second surf club was built in the southeast side. We also see that there were two 25-meter swimming pools on this front beach, but the length of the southwest one was doubled at the moment.

Despite the above modifications, the dining tables, pavilion, lighthouse, southeast swimming pool, and the beach still remain unchanged in terms of size and position over the period shown.
Phần bài này của bạn Cong Anh mình thấy có thể đạt được band điểm 6.0 bạn nhé. Phần bài của bạn mình thấy hiện đã có sử dụng ngữ pháp và từ vựng tương đối tốt. Tuy nhiên thì viêc bạn tổng hợp và sắp xếp thông tin trong từng đoạn còn chưa thực sự logic, vì mình vẫn chưa hiểu tại sao car park và road lại cho vào một đoạn, nhưng restaurant, surf club và pool lại tách thành đoạn khác, trong khi sự khác biệt giữa những yếu tố này đều không đủ rõ rệt cho lắm. Mình nghĩ bạn có thể cân nhắc đưa hai đoạn này vào cùng một đoạn, hoặc bạn có thể cân nhắc gộp chung những gì được xây mới vào một đoạn, và những gì được biến đổi vào một đoạn cho rõ hơn bạn nhé!
 
Last edited:

Dinh Cong Anh

New member
Phần bài này của bạn Cong Anh mình thấy có thể đạt được band điểm 6.5 non bạn nhé. Về phần bài của bạn thì mình thấy bạn đã cho thấy mình vẫn có thể sử dụng từ vựng và ngữ pháp một cách hợp lý và chính xác để diễn đạt ý. Tuy nhiên thì các ý trong bài của bạn còn chưa thực sự logic và liên quan tới chủ đề. Bạn nên xem xét lại những ý trên để có thể cải thiện bài viết của mình bạn nhé!

Phần bài này của bạn Cong Anh mình thấy có thể đạt được band điểm 6.0 bạn nhé. Phần bài của bạn mình thấy hiện đã có sử dụng ngữ pháp và từ vựng tương đối tốt. Tuy nhiên thì viêc bạn tổng hợp và sắp xếp thông tin trong từng đoạn còn chưa thực sự logic, và bài của bạn hiện đang là 125 - ngắn hơn số từ yêu cầu là 150 bạn nhé. Bạn Cong Anh hãy chú ý nhiều hơn vào việc sắp xếp và tổng hợp các ý trong các bài dạng này về sau bạn nhé!
Thầy ơi, bài của mình là 182 từ thầy ạ. Thầy kiểm tra lại giúp nhé
 

Vu Trong Hieu

Moderator
Thầy ơi, bài của mình là 182 từ thầy ạ. Thầy kiểm tra lại giúp nhé
Sau khi kiểm tra lại thì mình thấy bài của bạn Cong Anh đúng là 183 từ bạn nhé! Mình xin lỗi bạn vì đã để xảy ra sơ suất này. Mình cũng đã chỉnh sửa lại bình luận của mình để phản ánh số từ đúng của bạn rồi bạn nhé!
 

Dinh Cong Anh

New member
Task 2: Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Answer:

People have different views in regard to the question of who are more successful: billionaires or educators and scientists? In spite of some arguments, I am of the view that it would be better for us to consider those who serve in science and education as successful men.

There are two main reasons why people would argue that the most successful people must be wealthy men. The most visible would be that materialism, these days, has a certain impact on our mindset, and thus, we often think that it is more beneficial for billionaires or at least millionaires to gain prestige from others. This is because rich men are those who can find it easier than ever for them to own luxurious villas and fast cars, which are symbols of today’s success, from the viewpoint of countless youngsters. Moreover, billionaires like Bill Gates or Elon Musk have been providing financial assistance for many global projects, that are helping impoverished people across the world, especially in Africa. Therefore, they should be considered as the most successful men in terms of both material and spiritual values.

Despite the above arguments, I still believe that teachers and scientists, who have an important role to play in the development and prosperity of society, are far successful than rich men. From an educational perspective, we all can see that the teacher acts as a facilitator, enabling children to learn right-mannered behaviors and broaden their horizons that they should have to become productive members of society. Without them, it would be easy for us to cause chaos to the human community. From a scientific perspective, throughout the history of mankind, scientists have been creating plenty of inventions that can support us in dealing with natural, as well as man-made disasters such as air pollution, energy shortages, or nuclear explosions. Under their contribution, people still have the chance to stay away from the verge of extinction.

In conclusion, education and science should be used to access a person’s success instead of wealth because educators and scientists often bring long-lasting values to human society, which what I believe.
 

Dinh Cong Anh

New member
Task 1: The maps show a beachfront in Australia in 1950 and today.
Answer:

The two maps give information about the development of an Australian beachfront from 1950 to date.

Overall, the beachfront has witnessed significant modifications with regard to the construction of new facilities and the improvement of traffic infrastructure.

Looking at the maps in more detail, in 1950, there was a traffic road running eastward from the city directly to the car park, but it has been expanded southward to the lighthouse at the present. Aside from the old car park which was unchanged over the period shown, a new one was built on the original site of the playground.

We can also see that there were 2 25-meter swimming pools in the past and while the southwest one has been double in length, the southeast one still remains unmodified in terms of size and position. Furthermore, a new restaurant and a new surf club have been constructed to the west of the beachfront, whereas the opposite side is another surf club.

Despite the above changes, the four dining tables, pavilion, and lighthouse are still kept at the same position throughout the given period.
 

Vu Trong Hieu

Moderator
Task 2: Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Answer:

People have different views in regard to the question of who are more successful: billionaires or educators and scientists? In spite of some arguments, I am of the view that it would be better for us to consider those who serve in science and education as successful men.

There are two main reasons why people would argue that the most successful people must be wealthy men. The most visible would be that materialism, these days, has a certain impact on our mindset, and thus, we often think that it is more beneficial for billionaires or at least millionaires to gain prestige from others (ý này của bạn Cong Anh mình vẫn chưa hiểu rõ hoàn toàn bạn nhé, vì mình không hiểu tại sao beneficial ở đây lại có liên quan gì tới chủ đề chính của bài bạn nhé). This is because rich men are those who can find it easier than ever for them (vế này thì mình thấy chưa thực sự logic lắm bạn Cong Anh nhé, vì câu này đọc có nghĩa là "người giàu là những người thấy hiện giờ đang dễ sở hữu nhà hơn cho chính họ") to own luxurious villas and fast cars, which are symbols of today’s success, from the viewpoint of countless youngsters. Moreover, billionaires like Bill Gates or Elon Musk have been providing financial assistance for many global projects, that are helping impoverished people across the world, especially in Africa. Therefore, they should be considered as the most successful men in terms of both material and spiritual values (ở đây thì mình chưa thấy được là 1) spiritual value nằm ở đâu và 2) đối tượng đang "consider" ý kiến mà bạn đưa ra này là ai bạn nhé).

Despite the above arguments, I still believe that teachers and scientists, who have an important role to play in the development and prosperity of society, are far successful than rich men. From an educational perspective, we all can see that the teacher acts as a facilitator, enabling children to learn right-mannered behaviors and broaden their horizons that they should have to become productive members of society. Without them, it would be easy for us to cause chaos to the human community. From a scientific perspective, throughout the history of mankind, scientists have been creating plenty of inventions that can support us in dealing with natural, as well as man-made disasters such as air pollution, energy shortages, or nuclear explosions. Under their contribution, people still have the chance to stay away from the verge of extinction (ý này của bạn Cong Anh mình thấy đang có tính phóng đại quá bạn nhé. Mình nghĩ bạn nên tập trung hơn một chút vào các thành tựu khoa học và ảnh hưởng của những thành tựu này lên loài người bạn nhé).

In conclusion, education and science should be used to access a person’s success instead of wealth because educators and scientists often bring long-lasting values to human society, which what I believe.
Về phần bài này thì mình nghĩ bạn Cong Anh đã tốt hơn một chút so với bài trước về mặt ý bạn nhé, tuy nhiên thì mình thấy bài của bạn hiện tại cũng chưa thể chắc chắn đạt được band 6.5. Trong phần bài này của bạn có sử dụng ngữ pháp và từ vựng tương đối chính xác về mặt cấu trúc, nhưng trong bài có chứa một vài lỗi sai nhỏ nhưng lại gây ảnh hưởng tới mặt nghĩa trong câu bạn nhé. Bạn nên xem xét qua các bình luận của mình ở trên bạn nhé!
Task 1: The maps show a beachfront in Australia in 1950 and today.
Answer:

The two maps give information about the development of an Australian beachfront from 1950 to date.

Overall, the beachfront has witnessed significant modifications with regard to the construction of new facilities and the improvement of traffic infrastructure.

Looking at the maps in more detail, in 1950, there was a traffic road running eastward from the city directly to the car park, but it has been expanded southward to the lighthouse at the present. (câu này và câu trước của bạn mình thấy chưa thực sự liên quan tới nhau bạn nhé)Aside from the old car park which was unchanged over the period shown, a new one was built on the original site of the playground.

We can also see that there were 2 25-meter swimming pools in the past and while the southwest one has been double in length, the southeast one still remains unmodified in terms of size and position. Furthermore, a new restaurant and a new surf club have been constructed to the west of the beachfront, whereas the opposite side is another surf club.

Despite the above changes, the four dining tables, pavilion, and lighthouse are still kept at the same position throughout the given period.
Về phần bài này của bạn Cong Anh thì mình thấy bạn có thể đạt được band điểm 6.5 bạn nhé. Mình thấy bạn đã sử dụng khá tốt các cấu trúc ngữ pháp để diễn tả ý của mình, tuy nhiên thì mình còn thấy rằng việc bạn phân chia thông tin trong bài vẫn còn chưa được rõ ràng đủ mức, và khiến việc mình theo dõi thông minh hơi khó khăn một chút bạn nhé. Bạn có thể tham khảo các phản hồi mình đã viết ở trên để có thể biết thêm chi tiết cho phản hồi này bạn nhé!
 

thuý đình

New member
The provided maps depict how much changes have taken in an Australian beachfront since 1950 up to the present moment.

Overall, it is evident that the landscape has witnessed a thorough transformation with the most notable being the appearance of total new amenities namely playground, surf club, and car park.

To begin with, the playground on the north-west of the landscape in 1950 was obliterated to make way for a car park, which directly connects to the main road. The main street is also extended in size and encircles from the eastern to the southern side to be easier to get to the lighthouse. In the middle of the provided map, there are no changes that happened in the erection of dining tables and pavilion.

At present, the area witnesses a set up of a restaurant and a surf club on the western south and the poll in close proximity showed development in size from 25m to 30m at the moment. Additionally, another surf club facility opening is adjacent to the lighthouse on the bottom right-hand corner.
em cảm ơn ạ
 

Vu Trong Hieu

Moderator
The provided maps depict how much changes have taken in an Australian beachfront since 1950 up to the present moment.

Overall, it is evident that the landscape has witnessed a thorough transformation with the most notable being the appearance of total new amenities namely playground, surf club, and car park.

To begin with, the playground on the north-west of the landscape in 1950 was obliterated (từ obliterate ở đây dùng chưa hoàn toàn chính xác bạn nhé, vì nó quá nghiêm trọng. Bạn có thể thay thế bằng demolish) to make way for a car park, which directly connects to the main road. The main street is also extended in size and encircles from the eastern to the southern side to be easier to get to make it easier to get to the lighthouse. In the middle of the provided map, there are no changes that happened in the erection of dining tables and pavilion.

At present, the area witnesses a set up (the setting up) of a restaurant and a surf club on the western south and the poll in close proximity showed development in size from 25m to 30m at the moment. Additionally, another surf club facility opening is adjacent to the lighthouse on the bottom right-hand corner.
Phần này của bạn thì mình thấy có thể đạt được điểm 6.5 bạn nhé! Mình thấy phần lớn bài của bạn đã rất dễ hiểu nhờ việc sử dụng từ vựng và các cấu trúc chính xác. Mình thấy phần bạn phân chia thông tin cũng đã tương đối logic và dễ theo dõi. Cho dù bài của bạn có một vài lỗi nhỏ, nhưng không có lỗi nào ảnh hưởng quá nhiều đến việc hiểu của mình bạn nhé!
 

Đông Phong

New member
Task 2 (20/3): More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Recently, storing information online becomes more common and is widely used by most people because of its convenience. While many people consider saving personal information on such storing services as a way to save time and keep them away from retrieving pieces of information, other people claim that it is insecure to trust the Internet service providers. In my opinion, the positives of placing personal information on the Internet are somewhat superior to its downside.

At first glance, storing services offer many benefits for users to keep all their details in one place. As can be seen, the digital era lets people get on with many services and sites on the Internet. From monetary activities, which can be easily done with e-banking or e-wallet, to social networks where people can join different communities and expand their relationships, all require personal information for registration and identification. Due to the fact that basic information like user's names and passwords are often different for each site, an indispensable requirement has been raised as people must remember all aforementioned things. Therefore, utilizing online stores, which are also known as cloud services, is the most suitable way to keep specified information accessible and free their memory from many distracting details.

Opponents of the mentioned view state that there are many high-risk problems when putting too many personal details online. One of the common-heard issues is being hacked by professional hackers. Multimedia channels continually give warning about fraud or cheating activities to stole money from bank account by attacking to online information storage, when hackers, who can get this sensitive information, instantly log in to the victim's account and get what they need. The typical example that can be ignored when discussing this problem is the leakage of over 1 million Facebook users' accounts in 2017, making them extremely worried. However, optimists advocate that techniques are more and more researched and applied to gain the security of these sites, and people have evidence to believe in the advantages of Internet storing services.

In conclusion, my firm conviction is that, besides hidden risks, online services for storing information give great things to maintain personal data stability, lead to productivity increase, and the beneficial values of this trend are likely to overshadow its opposite effects.

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